Thank you. They call you a starter home, but you are much more than that. You are part of our family. You are the place where I brought my baby's home. My son took his first steps in the living room. My daughter said her first word in the kitchen. I mourned the loss of my angel baby on the couch by the window. We've celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, Christmases. We've spent countless lazy Sundays watching movies and snuggling. You are home...for a few more days. We will miss you and the memories we made here.
I was frustrated with your layout and lack of space. I was annoyed with how I had to squeeze past my husband every time we made dinner together. But now, I am feeling nostalgic. There will be years of memories in our new home and I'm excited for a change. But, you were where my family began. You were where my life started. Thank you for that. Thank you for your warmth, your comfort, your coziness. Thank you for keeping us safe when our children were small. Thank you starter home. You've served us well.
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I have an on again off again relationship with my future self. She is skinny, toned, in shape, emotionally balanced, happy, and generally put together. Sometimes we have an amazing connection. She and I are really clicking. I eat healthy, exercise, and work on my ‘ahem’ deficits. She promises that one day I can be as amazing as she is.
Then, enter the snickers bar. I see it out of the corner of my eye. Mocking me in all its caramel chocolate glory. Calling to the chubby 12 year old inside of me. And I succumb to its advances. And I enjoy every minute up until I realize what I have just done. I have cheated on my future self. I hate dieting. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. If you tell me that I will lose 20 pounds simply by avoiding green beans (the absolute worst tasting food in the world), I would actually be saddened by he idea. Maybe those disgusting little beans are really tasty. Maybe I could just try one. I think that one day my future self will just give up on me. Decide that I have cheated on her one too many times. Until then I have decided that I will keep working on our relationship. I will try not to cheat on her. And if I do cheat, I at least need to cheat with a food that is worth it. Like a Channing Tatum style food. I think my future self could forgive me for cheating with an Oreo/Reeces fudge pie. Yesterday, I was 18. I was headed off to college. I was about to meet the love of my life. The man who would become my husband and the father of my two adorable sons and beautiful daughter. I was young. The biggest concern in my life was what shoes to wear. I thought 25 was old. I thought 30 seemed ancient. Over the hill.
Today, I woke up old. I looked at my life and it just hit me that I am no longer young. Some how years have slipped by. I am no longer a care free child. I am a wife, a mother, a business owner. By my 18 year old standards, I am old. I am over the hill. But I feel like my life is just beginning. I feel like I am just getting started. I see that 18 year old version of me as a baby. Like a toddler who thinks they know everything. Age is in the eye of the beholder. One day I will wake up and be 40, 50, 90. Each time I will take a look back at my life. Each time I will realize how young I was and how old I am. Each time I will appreciate what I used to be. And each time I will love what I am. Getting older doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In my experience, everything gets better with age. |
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AuthorI am a writer, a crafter, a DIYer, a mom, wife, a daughter, a professional, and whatever I decide to be tomorrow. While I spend most of the day being called mama, I am much more than that.Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
December 2017
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