I am a people pleaser. I hate it when there is conflict in my life. I usually try to bend over backwards to make sure that no one is upset with me, my friends, or my family. However, I became a mom and then became a mom again shortly thereafter. And my people pleasing personality took a hit. I was tired. I was cranky. I was lonely. I was hungry. I was scared that I was going to make some small mistake that would be detrimental to my children. I became hyper vigilant and narrow focused. I am still learning how to be a mom and have a life outside of those little people. But I have determined that there are some thing that I do that may seem inconsiderate but are just me being mom. That I don’t need to fret and worry that someone will be mad because I engaged in one of these “inconsiderate behaviors”.
1. Blocking Your Parking Spot When it is 90 degrees outside and I am wrangling two tiny badger-like toddlers into carseats, I have the right-of-way. I have received many glares from fellow shoppers waiting for a parking spot. I am sorry that you have to wait an extra few minutes to get your groceries or iced latte. However, I am not going to close the car door and hot box my children so you can park. I am going to take as much time as I need to safely buckle my children in the car. 2. Screening calls You know who you are. You are the friend/relative who can’t have a conversation that lasts less than 30 minutes. Sometimes, I don’t have time to talk to you. You don’t take the “subtle” hint that I have to go. You don’t even respond to the screaming toddlers or my direct comment that I need to go. You keep talking. Therefore, sometimes I don’t answer. I want to give you as much attention as I can, so I wait to answer until I have time to talk to you. 3. Not returning calls I don’t mean to forget to call you back. I just have a lot on my mind. I have about 30 seconds of free time during the day and I usually use that to pee. I promise that I want to call you back. I am not trying to be rude. It just slipped my mind. 4. Texting rather than calling And if I do remember to call you back, I am probably going to send a text. Texting is so much easier as a mom. I can send a text in a few seconds and get back to feeding/washing/playing/cleaning/etc. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. It’s just, again, the best way to give you the attention that you deserve. If I called you, you would not have my full attention. When you text me back, I can read it and fully think about what you said. 5. Happy hour I want to go to happy hour with you. I want to socialize. I would love to be a functioning adult that eats and drinks and dances with other adults. However, I am asleep by 9:00 every night. Yes, every night including the weekend. It’s not sad. It’s necessary. I am awakened by 6:00 every morning and several times in the night. In order to function, I need to sleep. I also need to feed my children dinner and put them to bed at a decent hour. I could get a babysitter and I do sometimes, but it’s just not going to happen every week. 6. Leaving early When I do go out, I will likely leave earlier than the childless people. It’s not that I’m having a terrible time. It’s not that I don’t enjoy your company. No. It’s for three different reasons. Number one…I’m tired. I have expended all of my evening energy on adult conversation and I still have to get up in the middle of the night to feed babies and shoo monsters out of closets. Number two…I have probably used up all of my interesting adult stories. And you may not want to hear about Thomas the Train, blow-outs, or play dates. Number three…I like saying goodnight to my children. I like tucking them in. I want to snuggle them. I want to kiss them and read them a bedtime story. They are only little for awhile and I want to experience it all. 7. Travel The road goes both ways. Childless people have an easier time traveling. It’s a fact. If you want to see me or my family, sometimes you need to come see me. I should not be expected to always drive to see you. It is an all day event to pack a car full of diapers, toys, children, wipes, snacks, etc. and drive (even an hour or two) to visit someone. I have to plan around meals and naps. Then, if by some chance, my children don’t nap well in the car, they will be very very grumpy at YOUR house. And I will spend the entire visit making sure that they do not break any of your nick-nacks and nice decorations (which are definitely displayed because you don’t have children).
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AuthorI am a writer, a crafter, a DIYer, a mom, wife, a daughter, a professional, and whatever I decide to be tomorrow. While I spend most of the day being called mama, I am much more than that. Archives
June 2018
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